Thursday, September 18, 2014


Behold the completely organic mower!
Make it a gift to your wife to show her
you love the environment and the lawn.
And imagine this: it's always on!
What's more, you'll never need to buy gas
because this machine runs entirely on grass.
Yes, your new mower will be self-sufficient,
consuming its cuttings, neat and efficient.
It also features a decorative appeal.
We're sure that once you see it you'll feel
this South American tool has a place
in your tidy and tastefully flowered space.
Frustrated residents of suburbia,
We offer the amazing . . . Capybara!


Okay, it's a far cry from Sandra Beasley's brilliant Unit of Measure ("Everyone is more or less a master of grasses than the capybara"), but it amused me enough to share.

And it's timely, kind of! California's devastating drought has got me feeling very twitchy about lawns. I sheet-mulched mine a few years ago and put in native plants, and even some of them are giving me an awfully parched end-of-summer look.

Perhaps a poem about a passionately aquatic rodent can be considered akin to a rain dance.

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